EOTK is what I texted Rocket Girl that day. The funny part is all of the words we tried to make it an acronym for. When I googled it, it said do you mean “work”? I had a querty smartphone and placed my fingers incorrectly……google knew what I meant. My favorite guess was RG’s “edge of the kitchen”. Back then I was always heartbroken or sad, struggling with a love match that wasn’t quite a natural fit. So whenever I needed a laugh or she needed one, we could just IM or text EOTK.
As I sat in my kitchen this morning I thought of Rocket Girl and her place in my life. I knew her at work and we were only running friends from November 2010 to April 2011 when she moved away to work for ……space again. She’s an engineer………rockets, hence the nickname. I don’t remember who she said nicknamed her but I rarely think of her as anything but RG. When she moved away I wrote her a poem, I wanted her to know what she meant to me, and I borrowed the idea from the famous “seasons reasons” poem. I feared she would be gone from my life forever.
Oddly enough, I was able to maintain contact with a very introverted and private person for some time. She helped me through a lot of crap and I helped her as well, I think. Sometimes her lack of energy into the relationship became painful and reminded me too much of my failing love match. After the love that did not fit finally fractured, I stopped giving the relationship with RG my energy. I decided, rightfully so at time, it was codependent (seeking love and approval from the unavailable and less invested) and that I needed to focus on me.
I miss Rocket Girl when it has been too long since we’ve IMed or talked. I am taking a break from CrossFit so I won’t see her on a random Saturday there. We play Words with Friends on our iPhones and that’s our continuing link. She continues, Dr. RG, to beat me senselessly often. I know now I can be friends with her and not put so much of myself into it that I feel bereft, lost, or an investment imbalance. And I will edit to add that she IS a good friend and adds value to my life or I would not still want her in it!!!
I love you RG. I understand your place in my life, and I’m so glad I still have you.