When I cannot run

Typically I run through sickness. But at least a couple of times a winter I am unable to run through it; I’m lucky to get through each day at work, which now means teaching, talking, chasing kids etc…..

What happens when you cannot run? Me, I about lose my mind. I do not function well without my endorphins. Running is addictive, and chemicals account for the drive to return despite injuries and setbacks. For me, maintaining emotional balance while I am unable to train is difficult. I have been unable to swim for almost two weeks and unable to run for even longer. I can either find another outlet like this one or Compartmentalize or pretend (deny) my sadness. Not running makes me rather sad, personally. I can overcome almost anything when I can run.

I’m at urgent care. It’s been two weeks and I finally have my insurance card printout. That was a nightmare not to be revisited, I hope! I don’t want to die and my asthma is nothing to play with though I prefer to treat OTC and homeopathically, I’m in trouble with sinus and respiratory infections.

I find myself running down the halls even as I’m wheezing and coughing just for a small rush, when the students haven’t arrived or have left for the day. Teaching is a huge dose of happy that has made these days easier to get through. But until I can run again, or swim, or lift or do CrossFit I’m not quite myself.

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3 thoughts on “When I cannot run

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