One step forward two steps back

One step forward, two steps back. One piece of my life starts to work the other breaks down. That’s my view not shared by those close to me. Tomorrow is going to be a party day, a fun day, despite today’s drama. Today was so good and turned so bad because of another persons cruel intentions. I deserve better I hope, I’ve tried to generate good karma rather than bad. But sometimes it just doesn’t pay to trust people, to take a chance on people you don’t know. Someone told me that if I lose my trust I will miss out on awesome life experiences that only happen when you take chances. I think I concur but today I just wish I kept my guard up with that person.

Who I am is so complex right now. I insist on having more than the world says I should. But I won’t let the world dictate my happiness. I will say this, I have more than friends with benefits. I have a person in my life who matters and who has my back. I don’t know if we fit, but I’m giving it a chance. I just need really low expectations right now. I’ve been 100 percent honest I think but maybe not always explicit enough.

I feel guilty promising anything because, well, my energy is elsewhere. Finally my room is briefly getting in line, and I’m establishing order. I am behind on IEPs and assessment data of course. But they’re listening. Working. Maybe even learning. We have some synergy at least most of my students. So that’s my two steps forward. Tomorrow is party day, early dismissal before spring break. I am so glad, and they are probably glad and sad. So maybe I shouldn’t celebrate too openly. :-). But I look forward to some quality time with my kids, the ones who need to come first, always. So here’s to two steps out of work for a week, and coming back strong. Slainte!!!

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