I think it happened again. The heroin became such a pull I lost focus on myself again. No I don’t have a drug addiction. But there are emotions, feelings that mimic what I think heroin would feel like. They say food addiction isn’t that different and I know what it feels like.
So it’s Saturday and I’m refocusing on me again. I didn’t stop running and I didn’t stop spinning and I didn’t lose my commitment to working out or my joy in it, but I did lose my drive to push for distance and endurance I think. Too busy using that energy for other activities.
I will always struggle with balance. Balancing joy and selfishness and fitness and training. Kids and work always come first but the rest is where I struggle. I have to own this struggle and keep focused so I can feel as beautiful and strong as AGR should feel INSIDE.