So a GF of mine was watching Grey’s Anatomy when I went to her house one day to take her to the airport….and I was hooked. Later I saw it was on Netflix and I started watching…yesterday. Today I rewatched the episode I watched with her, and I was struck hard by the end of the episode.
In Grey’s head she says “Boundaries don’t keep people out they fence you in. Life is messy it’s how we’re made.”
Then she says “You can waste your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them. ” OH I cross, I cross the lines……all the time. Even when my fear wants to hold me back, I get back out there.
She finishes with “Here’s what I know. If you’re willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.”
I’m on the other side….I’m open, life. Today I RAN in the heat and got heat exhaustion but I finished, made it home, and I’m slowly recovering. I can’t let the weather fence me in, I have to force my body to adapt (albeit more cautiously, sorry body). And I can’t let my fear of rejection fence me in, I want to meet new people, have new experiences, live my life, LOVE fully.
I’ve written lots of posts about being AGR and about my kryptonite. My kryptonite isn’t a person, it’s a type of person. An introverted, quiet person who seems perfect because they never say how they’re really feeling and they spend their quiet moments trying to please you, the extrovert, the energetic one, like moths to a flame. My friend today, Anna, said I need an ambivert and I agree…..I cannot stand extroverts because unlike me (in general) they are horrible listeners. So no more kryponite…..leaving the illusory safe space of dating introverts and opening myself to different types, different people, new things. Like someone said “how’s that working out for ya?” Ouch. But true..
I’m crossing the line people, do you hear me? I’m going to run in the heat. I’m going to train all summer. I’m going to leave every comfort zone I can, and I’m going to break type and hopefully find a real match, not one that only exists in my mind. No more infatuations and illusory one-sided love, I want the real, mutual thing. I’m not scared anymore…..I’m tired of the view from the other side, it’s great over here.