Tuesday was my first tearful day as a new teacher. When the building was empty, only myself and the custodian present, I cried in my room like a baby. I felt like a failure. I private messaged a fellow DPS teacher on Facebook and she encouraged me…..lots of people did. And I picked myself up and came into work for…..Professional Development Day. Hey! I didn’t time it, it happened. One of my students had an appointment in my building. I met her and her mother and suddenly I hear “She’s so excited to come to school again” and “She said Ms. H don’t play!” Since the focus of my room is classroom management, that made me smile. And it made me happy. Maybe I am doing ok for a week 1 Intervention Specialist 🙂
Tonight over dinner, just talking about my kids, my viewpoints on education, the areas I feel I am lacking in, I felt so much pleasure. The simple act of explaining to someone else why I love my new career, why it is so important to me, reminds me, again, that I’m realizing a dream I’ve worked on in different ways for years. This isn’t anything I fell into or chose because the economy is tough. This is what I LOVE to do, it lights me up inside. Those moments with that student were precious this morning. Tomorrow she may come in and try to tear my room to pieces or even my heart, but now I know, she cares, she understands why my rules exist, and at least part of her wants to follow them.
The faces of my life will change as years pass, but my roles stay the same. I am, forevermore, Asthma Girl Runner Mommy Teacher Relative Friend Swimmer Athlete….you get the idea.